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Don't Need A Pen

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 24 June 2015
Hits: 2770

What's the job application at Hooters?

They just hand you a bra and say: "Here, fill this out."

Messing Up A Good Thing

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 23 June 2015
Hits: 2741

Do you know what 6.9 is?

A good thing screwed up by a period.

Sex Tape

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 22 June 2015
Hits: 2372

My wife kinda had second thoughts about the first sex video I had talked her into making, so she said she wanted it back.

I said, "OK, but you'll have to pay twenty bucks, just like everybody else."

And that's when the fight started...

Politics Explained

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 21 June 2015
Hits: 2488

Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it to you this way. I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny, well, let's consider her The Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it all makes sense to you."

So Little Johnny goes off to bed thinking about what his Dad has told him. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room to find his diapers are badly soiled. So Johnny goes to his parents’ room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He finally gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, Johnny says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand exactly what politics is."

"Good son, tell me in your own words what you've learned."

Little Johnny replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Keep it Safe

What is a man's view of safe sex?

A padded headboard.

Don't Drink And Drive

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.

It's A Small World Afterall

Two guys trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go. The first guy says, "Why don't you go over and ask if we play through?"

The second guy gets about halfway there and comes back. The first guy says, "What's wrong?" His buddy says, "One of them is my wife, and the other one is my mistress." The first guy says, "That could be a problem. I'll go over."

He gets about halfway there and comes back. The second guy says, "What's wrong?"

The first guy says, "Small world."

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