Sex Tape

: Created: 22 June 2015; Hits: 1944

My wife kinda had second thoughts about the first sex video I had talked her into making, so she said she wanted it back.

I said, "OK, but you'll have to pay twenty bucks, just like everybody else."

And that's when the fight started...

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Guy visits his doctor with a problem "Doc, I don't know what to do about my wife. Every night, she goes to Harry's Bar and picks up men. She's fucking everybody in town and it's driving me crazy. What should I do?"

The doctor says, "Take a deep breath, calm down, and then give me the directions to Harry's Bar."

A Member of the Club

Johnson is out golfing and gets a hole-in-one on the very first hole. Then, he gets another hole-in-one on the second hole. Suddenly his cell phone rings. When he answers a voice says, "This is Memorial Hospital. Your wife has been in a terrible car accident. You need to come at once." Johnson figures, "Let me play one more hole ..."

Well, the next hole he gets an eagle. Now he's all excited, so keeps playing. Turns out he has his best round ever... breaks the club record. Everybody's congratulating him at the clubhouse when... oops... he suddenly remembers about his wife. So he races to the parking lot, jumps in his car and speeds off to the hospital. When he gets there he runs down the hallway where a doctor grabs him by the arm and says, "You piece of shit. You played golf while we worked on your poor wife? Well, she's a vegetable now... and it looks like you're going to have to feed her and change her diapers for the rest of your life. Your golf days are over buddy."

Johnson breaks down crying and says, "My God, Doc. I feel like such a lowdown scumbag. What the hell's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Hey. I was only fucking with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

How Long Has That Condom Been In Your Wallet?

What do a wife & a condom have in common?

They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.