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WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

Mount Kinabalu 'nudist' Eleanor Hawkins back in UK

Created: 14 June 2015
Hits: 3929

#WTF?! A British woman jailed in Malaysia for taking her clothes off on a mountain has returned home. Or as Frank Zappa might advise: "Don't fuck with the mountain, don't fuck around!" In this case rather sacred mountain.

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Angry Burger King customer arrested for Michael Douglas movie reference

Created: 05 May 2015
Hits: 3165

#WTF?! Man threatens to shoot gun in fast food restaurant mimicking movie scene. In the 1993 movie “Falling Down,” Michael Douglas plays a downtrodden divorcee who shoots a gun inside a fast-food restaurant after being told he can’t have breakfast because he’s too late.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sex Explained

Basically there are 5 kinds of sex:

Smurf Sex - On your honeymoon you keep doing it until you're both blue in the face.

Kitchen Sex - At the beginning of your marriage you'll have sex anytime, anywhere - even in the kitchen.

Bedroom Sex - When you've settled down a bit, maybe have some kids, so you gotta restrict it to the bedroom.

Hallway Sex - You reach the point where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"

Courtroom Sex - Finally, you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of the whole courtroom.

Those New Clothes Are Hot!

What should you do if your clothes are on fire?

Don't put 'em on.

One Way To Drive Home The Point

A guy gets on a bus sits down next to a very attractive nun. Totally enamored he boldly asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally the nun says no and gets off at the next stop. The guy goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of any way he might be able to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

So the guy figures he would give it a try. He dresses up in his best God costume and hides out in the cemetery. At eight he sees the nun arrive. Just as she starts to pray he jumps out to confront her as God.

"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The guy tells her she must first have sex with him to prove her faith. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, as he ravages her from behind. When it's over, the guy suddenly pulls off his God disguise and shouts: "Haha! I'm the man from the bus!"

"Haha!" the nun says back to him while pulling her costume off, "I'm the bus driver!"

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