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Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

Woman Pleads Guilty To Charges She Attempted To Cut Off Husband's Penis

Created: 10 May 2015
Hits: 3580

#WTF?! Shades of Lorena Bobbitt! Trying to slice his salami was truly the most unkindest cut of all. A woman pleaded guilty to assault with a deadly weapon and assault with great bodily injury after her husband said she attempted to cut off his penis with a pair of scissors.

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Florida Man Blames His Arrest On Faulty Legal Advice From Wikipedia

Created: 29 March 2017
Hits: 3219

WTF?! You have the right to look up idiot online, but that's all! Wikipedia is not Perry Mason. En route to jail following his arrest for driving with a suspended license and no insurance, a Florida man declared, “That’s the last time I listen to Wikipedia about driving. It said I would just get a ticket.” Actually that would be a dunce cap!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

One Way To Drive Home The Point

A guy gets on a bus sits down next to a very attractive nun. Totally enamored he boldly asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally the nun says no and gets off at the next stop. The guy goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of any way he might be able to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

So the guy figures he would give it a try. He dresses up in his best God costume and hides out in the cemetery. At eight he sees the nun arrive. Just as she starts to pray he jumps out to confront her as God.

"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The guy tells her she must first have sex with him to prove her faith. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, as he ravages her from behind. When it's over, the guy suddenly pulls off his God disguise and shouts: "Haha! I'm the man from the bus!"

"Haha!" the nun says back to him while pulling her costume off, "I'm the bus driver!"

Not Quite A Sonnet

Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.

The One Thing Not To Do

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?

You don't look down.

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