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WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

Man Robs Bank Using Sex Toy Disguised As Bomb, Police Say

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#WTF?! A man accused of using a bomb to rob a bank says it was just a vibrator wrapped in duct tape. Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? Gives new meaning to the phrase "This is a stick-up" doesn't it?

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Man arrested after allegedly touching orangutan at Fresno Chaffee Zoo

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#WTF?! A 24-year-old man was arrested for allegedly scaling a five-foot barrier at Fresno Chaffee Zoo to touch an orangutan.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Say What?!

A guy says to his new girlfriend: "Why are you always playing with my balls?"

She says: "Because I miss mine."

Here Kitty, Kitty

A lady goes to the doctor's office and tells the doctor that she can't get her husband to have sex with her anymore. So, the doctor gives her some pills and says to give her husband one each night in his dinner whenever she wants to have sex.

That night she gave him one and they had a decent night of sex. The next night she decided to try 4 pills and she had even better sex. Well the next night she tried 8 pills and the sex was wonderful. So the next night she decided to dump the whole bottle in his dinner.

The next day her son showed up at the doctor's office and and said, "Doctor, Doctor, what did you do to my Daddy? My mom's dead, my sister's pregnant, my butt hurts, and my dad's going around the house saying here kitty, kitty, kitty!"

How To Really Tie One On

A string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry pal, we don't serve strings here."

So the string walks outside, ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back into the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."