A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please”.
My neighbor looked over the fence and asked: "What are you doing?" I told her: "My goldfish died. I have to bury him."
"Why such a big hole?" she asked.
"'Cause he's inside your fucking cat."
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.
Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
