Put It On My Bill
Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"
Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"
What do a wife & a condom have in common?
They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Three blonde men are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across.
The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river. So God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.
The second man prays to God to make him even smarter. So God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across.
Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all. So God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.
My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."
So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."
And that's when the fight started...
#WTF?! A Maine police department insists it is "not joking" about a large snake seen eating a beaver on a riverbank. The Westbrook Police Department said in a Facebook post an officer patrolling the Riverbank Park area spotted the "large snake" about 3:30 a.m. Wednesday "eating a large mammal, possibly a beaver (not joking)."
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