A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

STDs Can Be Pretty Rough

What did the guy say to his dick when he saw the girl he was about to fuck had genital warts?

"Hang on, boy! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"

Bring Out The Tape Measure

Why are dicks like fish?

You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.

Wait For It

Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
.
.
.
.
.
and tonic.

Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"

It Takes Two

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...

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The Down Under

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

Timing Is Everything

A cop was patrolling the local lover's lane when he drove by a car with a couple inside and the dome light on. It appeared that the young man in the driver’s seat was reading a computer magazine and the young lady was in the back seat knitting. Stopping to investigate the cop knocked on driver’s window. The young man rolled the window down and said, "Yes officer?"

"What are you doing?" the cop asks. "What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I’m reading a magazine."

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like?, She's knitting."

"How old are you?" the officer asked the young man. "I’m nineteen." he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she’ll be eighteen."

It's Been Said

It's been said if you bend over & put your ear to someone's leg you can hear "What the fuck are you doing?"