A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Liar Liar, Pants On Fire!

What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.

So What Does It Mean?

What's it mean when two lesbians make love?

It doesn't mean dick.

Stay wood boy

How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

Not A Fair Trade

My wife saw a Craigslist ad where a guy was offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. She looked at me and asked: "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," I told her. "The season's more than half over!"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Population Problem

World population has become a big problem. Experts say every 4 seconds a woman gives birth to another baby.

Our problem? We have to find this woman and stop her.

Who Likes Bananas?

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

Always Know What To Say

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

"Honey, I'm home."