Not That Kind Of Sperm Bank

Sex is like a bank account.

First you put it in. Once you take it out you lose interest.

Some Things You Can't Change

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

A Senior Moment

Two old ladies are sitting on the park bench feeding the pigeons. Suddenly the first one says to her friend: "Did you just fart?"

Her friend answers: "Of course I did. You think I always smell like this?"

Another Perspective On Marriage

I razzed my wife: "I shoulda never got married. Why buy the whole cow when I was gettin' the milk for free?"

She snapped back: "Yeah? Well I got stuck with the whole pig for just one little sausage."

And that's when the fight started...