See If He Measures Up

Know when a man is well hung?

When you can barely slip a finger in between his neck & the noose.

Down Boy

A guy visits the psychiatrist and tells him: "Doc, I need help, I think I'm turning into a dog. Every morning when I wake up I scratch behind my ear, like I'm looking for fleas. Then in the afternoon I run around in circles, like I'm chasing my tail. By the evening I lay down and lick my balls, just because I can. Doc, this has got to stop."

The doctor looks at him and asks: "Do you want to stop now?" The guy says: "Yes, yes"

So the doctor rolls up a magazine, swats the guy on the ass and yells: "Get off the couch!"

Don't Do That Again

Johnson finds wife in bed with a friend, shoots him.

"Keep behaving like that you'll lose all your friends." she snaps at him.

And that's when the fight started...