A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Will Help The Commute

Gal tells her friend, "I just read it's against the law to go topless in the New York subway."

Her friend says, "Thank God. It's bad enough when you catch your scarf in those doors."

By Any Other Name

What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Justin!

What do you call a guy with a giant dick?

Phil!

"Doctor! It Hurts When I Do This!"

A girl says to her doctor, "You have to help me. I hurt all over." She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, "Ow! That hurts." She touches her left cheek with her index finger and says, "Ouch! That hurts, too." She touches her right earlobe with her index finger and says, "Ow! Even that hurts."

The doctor says, "Are you a natural blonde?" She says, "Yes." The doctor says, "You have a sprained finger."

Should Have Written A Pre-Nup

Husband: "What would you like for your anniversary, Sylvia?"

Wife: "A divorce, Bernie."

Husband: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

These Boots Are Made For Walkin'

I always wanted a pair of real cowboy boots. So I found a pair on sale and wore them home. Walking in the kitchen I asked my wife: "Notice anything different about me?" She looked up and said: "Nope."

So I figured how to fix that. I went into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again I asked her: "Notice anything different now?"  This time she slowly looked me up and down, then said: "What's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"

Now I was really mad so I told her: "You know why it's hanging down. 'Cause it's lookin' at my new boots!" Without missing a beat she said" "Then you shoulda bought a hat."

And that's when the fight started...

Counting Sheep

A blonde is tired of all the dumb blonde jokes, so she dies her hair black. Then one day she drives past a farm and sees a farmer with his flock of sheep. She stops and says to the farmer, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, will you let me have one?"

The farmer says, "Sure". She says, "112." The farmer says, "That's incredible. You're exactly right."

As the girl reaches for her prize and is putting it in her back seat, the farmer says, "Hey...if I can guess what color your hair used to be, can I have my dog back?"

More Than One Use

One night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep my wife asked me a real stupid question: "Honey, why do you think god gave men a dick?"

I opened one eye and told her: "So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!"

And that;s when the fight started...