Right Idea Wrong Place

You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.

No Greater Feeling

Why is being in the military like a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Welcome To Hollywood

How do they say "fuck you" in Hollywood?

Trust me.

Not the Same Old Routine

My wife wanted to be a little playful, so she whispered: "Say dirty things to me!"

So I said: "Bathroom, kitchen, living room..."

And that's when the fight started...