A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Now You'll Love Math Class

Sex is like math. Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, & pray you don't multiply.

And if your partner is really good she'll have no problem finding the root!

Gotta Stay In Business

What do pimps and farmers have in common?

They both need a hoe to stay in business.

Keep On Dreaming This Thanksgiving

What's a Turkeys favorite song?

"I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"

Never Trust A Lefty

The other day my wife and I were golfing when she suddenly asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" I told her, "No sweetie" but she shot right back with "Oh I'm sure you would." So to keep the peace I said "Okay, I would." Then she asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" and not knowing where this was going I told her, "Yeah... I guess so."

Finally she asked me, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" and I told her, "No, she's left handed."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Don't Wake Her Up

A little boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt?"

So his father takes him up to the bedroom where mom is sleeping. "Look at this," he says as he lifts the covers carefully. "That's a pussy son."

"It's wonderful dad, can I touch it?"

"No!" says Dad. "If you touch the pussy you'll wake the cunt up!"

Nag Nag Nag

Jake the farmer has an incredibly nagging wife. One day he's out in the field, she brings his lunch to him, and then sits there and berates him while he's eating. Suddenly, the mule kicks up his back legs, smacking her in the head, and it kills her instantly.

At the wake, the minister notices that when a woman offers her sympathy, Jake nods his head up and down, but when a man comes up and speaks to him, he shakes his head from side to side. The minister says to Jake, "Why was it that you nod your head up and down to all the women and shake your head from side to side to all the men?"

Jake says, "The women all say how nice she looks, and how pretty her dress is. The men all say, Is that mule for sale?'"

 

Get In The Kitchen

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So they can stand closer to the sink.