No Need To See The Shrink

What happened to the depressed dyslexic?

He threw himself behind the bus.

Leaves A Bad Taste In Your Mouth

You know why you should never drink diet soda during oral sex?

Because that way you'll have two after-tastes to get rid of.

Not Enough Room

A lady goes golfing and gets hit in the ass really hard with a golf ball. She goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "Where were you hit?" She says, "Between the first and the second hole."

He says, "That doesn't leave alot of room for a band-aid, does it?"

One Difference Between Men And Women

My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"

I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"

And that's when the fight started...