What's Not For Breakfast
What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?
You can't get either of them at home.
What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?
You can't get either of them at home.
"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"
"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked... with beer.
I was talking to my buddy on the phone when my wife walked in. It being Valentine's day she must have been curious when she heard me say:
"I gotta tell ya... I really spoiled her today..."
So with her curiosity running wild she continued to eavesdrop and heard the rest.
"First I bought her a lovely new scent.
Then I rubbed essential oils into her beautiful body.
And then I did the hoovering and the dusting.
Man, I really love that car."
And that's when the fight started...