Trade It In

Why is a woman like a car?

On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.

Ten Items or Less

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

Wait For It

Polar bear walks into a bar, asks for a gin...
.
.
.
.
.
and tonic.

Bartender asks: "Why the long pause?"

Who's Your BFF?

One night my wife tried to get a rise out of me and make me jealous. She asked: "Honey, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"

I told her: "I'd say you're a lesbian!"

And that's when the fight started...