Do I Know You?

My wife asked me to guess what she wanted for her birthday.

So I said: "Your face from 10 years ago?"

And that's when the fight started...

Messing Up A Good Thing

Do you know what 6.9 is?

A good thing screwed up by a period.

How Do You Know For Sure

How do you know if a hippie's been staying at your house?

He's still there.

Sex Tape

My wife wanted to be a little adventurous. She told me she was up for making a sex tape.

I said, "Great, we should hold auditions for your part."

And that's when the fight started...