I Wanna Put My Balls In It!

How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?

Even the pool table has no balls.

Not The Man Of My Dreams

Mindi and Sylvia go to the zoo. A gorilla breaks out of his cage, grabs Sylvia, throws her down, rips off all her clothes, and fucks her. The zookeeper pulls the gorilla off, and takes poor Sylvia to the hospital.

A few days later, Mindi goes to visit her. She says, "So how you are feeling, Sylvia?"

Sylvia says, "So how should I feel? He doesn't call, he doesn't write..."

Pillow Fight

What does it mean when your wife is lying in bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

At The Cattle Auction

My wife was amazed to read about a farmer who claimed he sold a cow with a pussy like a woman for $10,000.

I told her: "That's not amazing, that's irony. Here I am with you... a pussy like a cow, and you ain't worth shit."

And that's when the fight started...