A middle-aged guy goes to the proctologist for his yearly checkup. He strips down, and the doctor tells him to bend over.
The doctor puts his middle finger all the way up the guy's ass and says, "Is that uncomfortable?"
The guy says, "Not as long as I don't feel both of your hands on my back."
A guy takes his date back to her place. He gets her up to her bedroom where he sees a wall full of fluffy toys.
After he fucks her he asks her: "How was I?"
She says: "Take anything from the bottom shelf."
They finally came out new a new blonde paint.
It's not real bright, but it's cheap... and it spreads easy.
A man tells his wife "I want to take a picture of your boobs so I can remember them like this forever."
The wife replies "I want to take a picture of your dick so I can enlarge it."
And that's when the fight started...