A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Here's A Question

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

Nothing.

Growing Up

What do you call kids born in whorehouses?

Brothel sprouts.

(Oh yeah, I'll be here all night...)

Ahhh... The Things That Lovers Text To Each Other

Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."

Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."

A Case Of Beer

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look way better at night than any jar of cold cream.

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

By Definition

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full.

This Could Come In Handy

A guy's in his car with a girl and says, "How about a hand job?"

She says, "What do I have to do?"

He says, "Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it? Just do that."

She grabs it and does it. A few minutes later, he starts screaming. She says, "What's wrong?"

He says, "Take your fucking thumb off the end."

Get In Line

Guy visits his doctor with a problem "Doc, I don't know what to do about my wife. Every night, she goes to Harry's Bar and picks up men. She's fucking everybody in town and it's driving me crazy. What should I do?"

The doctor says, "Take a deep breath, calm down, and then give me the directions to Harry's Bar."