A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Don't Forget to Eat Your Veggies

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.

(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)

The King and The Queen

My dick is so smart it was Valedictorian of my senior class. My prom date was voted most likely to succeed. Say it slowly... you'll get it.

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?

Because every time Mrs. Smokey gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.

Everything Looks Bigger On Camera

A man tells his wife "I want to take a picture of your boobs so I can remember them like this forever."

The wife replies "I want to take a picture of your dick so I can enlarge it."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Price of Adventure

A businessman returns from Bangkok. After a few days he notices strange growth on his dick. He sees several doctors and they all tell him: “You've been screwing around over in Thailand. This is very common over there, but there is really no cure. We'll have to cut it off.” The man panics, but figures if it is common in Thailand they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Bangkok.

The Thai doctor examines him and says, "Looks like you've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?”

The man replies, “Yes a few in the USA.”

The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."

The man answers, "Yes!"

The doctor smiles and nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."

A Night Out On The Town

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

...so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...

Another Bingo!

How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?

Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"