See If He Measures Up

Know when a man is well hung?

When you can barely slip a finger in between his neck & the noose.

100% Guaranteed!

Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.

She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.

It's How They're Packed

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

Ringling Brothers

My wife was about to start her morning nag when I shot out: "You know our marriage is like a three-ring circus..."

And before she could comment I told her why: "First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering!"

And that's when the fight started...