Giddy up!

What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?

Cowboy hats are for assholes.

Another Problem To Solve

Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.

Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?

We Have A Runner

Why did the woman cross the road?

Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

A Dream Shattered

My wife came out of the shower, winked at me and said, "I shaved my pussy! You know what that means?"

I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."

And that's when the fight started...