A Real Woman

A plane is about to crash. A woman stands up and yells, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Who's going to be man enough to do it?"

A large man stands up and rips his shirt off, "Here! Iron this!"

Good Reason To Join

Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy who can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

Who is the most popular girl at a nudist colony? The girl who can eat the last donut.

Sometimes You Need A Break In The Action

Two Syrian hookers were talking about their problems. One said: "With the Russians jumping into this war we've got soldiers lined up around the block. I need a break!"

Her girlfriend agreed: "Yeah... I think we need to declare a no fly zone."

Anniversary Hint

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...