Why do women wear black underwear?
They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.
There's a huge five-alarm fire at the local bar and trucks are dispatched from every station. When it's finally under control, one of the chiefs walks in and finds two Irish guys drinking at the bar. The chief says, "I can't believe you guys were in here the whole time. How'd the fire start?"
One of the Irish guys says, "We have no idea. It was burning when we got here."
The family was having dinner last night when our son turned to his mother and asked: "Mom, what's a blowjob"
I turned to him and said: "Your mother doesn't know son."
And that's when the fight started...