A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Those Fat Bastards In Corporate

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!

In The Confessional

"Forgive me, Father, I was fucking my wife and fantasized she was a nun."

"My son, sometimes when I fuck a nun I fantasize it's your wife."

Easy Money And Good Exercise

His dad came home from a week-long business trip to find Little Johnny with a brand new mountain bike. "How'd you get that, son?" his dad asked. "By hiking" was Little Johnny's reply. "Hiking?" his dad asked in surprise.

"Yeah. Every night last week Mr. Johnson came over and gave me twenty bucks to take a hike."

Paper or Plastic?

A guy stops in to the drugstore with his wife to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.

"No", the guy says, "she's not that ugly!"

And that's when the fight started...

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The Dangers of Modern Technology

A guy gets a text from his neighbor, "I'm really sorry Harry. I've been saddled with so much guilt that I have to confess. I've been tapping your wife day and night when you're not home. In fact, probably a lot more than you. I don't get it at home, but that's no excuse. I just can't deal with the guilt any more ... I hope you'll accept my apology and my promise that it won't happen again."

Furious, the guy grabs his gun, storms into his wife's bedroom and shoots her dead.

A few minutes later, he gets another text: "Fucking auto-correct. I meant wifi, not wife."

Soon Enough Young Man

Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"

"Not yet, sweetie."

Be Careful Where You Dump Your Load

Difference between women & a washing machine? Dump your load in a washing machine doesn't call a week later.