Anniversary Hint
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."
So I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."
So I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started...
One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."
The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."
At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."
A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"
I told my pal: "I got a brand new digital hearing aid, $10,000!" "What kind is it?" he asked.
"Six-thirty."
My wife was angry. She said: "It's unfair! A guy can screw a different girl every week and he's considered a stud. But if a girl screws even two guys in a year she's called a slut."
So I man-splained it to her: "Think of it this way. If a key opens lots of locks it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys... well... it's a shitty lock."
And that's when the fight started...