What's the difference between love and herpes?
Love doesn't last forever.
What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
My wife was angry. She said: "It's unfair! A guy can screw a different girl every week and he's considered a stud. But if a girl screws even two guys in a year she's called a slut."
So I man-splained it to her: "Think of it this way. If a key opens lots of locks it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys... well... it's a shitty lock."
And that's when the fight started...