What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber.
My girlfriend thought I had a small penis.
I thought she was just shallow.
What did the Jewish guy and his Chinese wife name their baby boy?
My wife and I were discussing babies and she had a thought. "Why do doctors spank newborn babies?"
I told her: "To knock the dicks off the stupid ones."
And that's when the fight started...
What does a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?
The more you play with it the harder it gets.
What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?
See you next period.
My wife is constantly complaining that I don't listen to her...
...or something like that.