An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery to bury her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife...you two have a lot in common."
Know when a man is well hung?
When you can barely slip a finger in between his neck & the noose.
A married couple has sex and it's a real quickie.
The wife cries because it's over.
And the husband smiles because it happened.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me up all night!"
And that's when the fight started...