Some Fun In The Sun

Shirley was sitting on a beach in Florida, trying to strike up a conversation with the attractive guy reading his book on the blanket next to her.

"Hi" she said. "Do you like movies?" "Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.

Shirley persisted, "Do you like gardening?" The man looked up again. "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.

Undaunted, Shirley asked, "Do you like pussycats?"

With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Shirley, pulled her bottoms off, and proceeded to pound her right there on the beach. As the cloud of sand began to settle, Shirley dragged herself upright and panted, "Wow... how did you know that was what I wanted?"

The guy thought a bit and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

I Wanna Register To Attend

Can't wait to go to the convention for women with no legs. I heard the place was crawling with pussy!

Going Postal

My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.

I'm not some kind of stud.

I'm a lazy bastard postman.

Do I Know You?

My wife asked me to guess what she wanted for her birthday.

So I said: "Your face from 10 years ago?"

And that's when the fight started...