A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

I Like Big Butts...

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.

I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.

And that's when the fight started...

What An UGLY Baby!

What sexual position should a woman use to make an ugly kid?

Ask your Mom.

Ask Sherwin Williams

They finally came out new a new blonde paint.

It's not real bright, but it's cheap... and it spreads easy.

Anniversary Hint

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Safety in the Kitchen

Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The fireman giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked: "Does anyone know what this is?"

Little Johnny's hand shot up and he said: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"

It's Kind Of Like Dollar Pizza

How's pussy like pizza?

The worst you'll ever have won't be all that bad.

A Very Special Valentine

I was talking to my buddy on the phone when my wife walked in. It being Valentine's day she must have been curious when she heard me say:

"I gotta tell ya... I really spoiled her today..."

So with her curiosity running wild she continued to eavesdrop and heard the rest.

"First I bought her a lovely new scent.
Then I rubbed essential oils into her beautiful body.
And then I did the hoovering and the dusting.
Man, I really love that car."

And that's when the fight started...