Take A Little Off The Top

A priest goes to get his hair cut. When the barber's done, the priest goes to pay him, but the barber says, "No thanks, my friend. I couldn't take money from a man of the cloth." The next day the barber shows up for work and there's a dozen boxes of chocolates waiting for him with a thank you note from the priest.

That afternoon a rabbi comes in and the barber cuts his hair. When he gets done the rabbi goes to pay him, but the barber says, "No thanks, my friend, I couldn't take money from a man of the cloth."

The next day when he shows up for work, there's a dozen rabbis waiting for him.

Too Soon

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Turn The Whole Thing Around

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?

So men can understand them.

I Like Big Butts...

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.

I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.

And that's when the fight started...