How do you know when a male porn star is at the gas station?
Right before the gas stops pumping he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car.
Your wife & your lawyer are drowning, so you have to choose. What do you do: go to lunch or catch a movie?
My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"
She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."
And that's when the fight started...