I Have One Question
Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)
Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)
Returning from a business trip a day early a guy tells his cab driver: "Cabbie, I think my wife's cheating on me. If I give you a hundred bucks, will you come in and be my witness?" The cabbie says, "Sure, pal."
It's after midnight when they enter the house. The husband grabs his gun from the front closet and he and the cabbie tip-toe up the stairs. The husband pushes the bedroom door open, flips on the light and pulls back the blanket. Sure enough he sees his wife and a stranger lying there totally naked.
The husband puts the gun to the naked guy's head when his wife screams: "Stop! Don't do it. I'll confess. I lied to you when I told you I had inherited some money. It was Larry who paid for that red Corvette I gave you. It was Larry who paid for your new bass boat as well, And it was Larry who paid for our country club membership. Larry even pays the monthly club dues and greens fees."
The husband lowers the gun and looks at the cabbie. "What would you do?" he asks.
The cabbie says, "I'd cover Larry's ass with that blanket before he catches cold."
Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:
"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?"
"Well, at least you tried..."
And that's when the fight started...