Why I Really Married You

Jack and his wife lived in Arizona where the summers are very hot. One day they awoke to a particularly severe heat wave. As he stepped out of the shower he complained to his wife saying, “it’s just too hot to wear any clothes on a day like this. What would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn with no clothes.”

“That I only married you for your money.”

And that's when the fight started...

And Now I'm Outta Here

Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger?

She just couldn’t take it any longer.

Take A Good Look

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

Home Cookin'

My wife asked: "How was dinner?"

I told her: "It was fit for a king! Here King.... here boy..."

And that's when the fight started...