A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

My Childhood Wish

I wish I had parents like Dora.

They let that little bitch go everywhere.

Ruled By A Dictator

My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

My Last Gig

You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.

Get Back In The Kitchen!

My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.

I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Turn The Beat Around

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” he asks. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we screw,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a blue “Y” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” he asks. “Oh, my boyfriend goes to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when he's banging me,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor. “No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”

And Now I'm Outta Here

Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger?

She just couldn’t take it any longer.

It's So Cute...

A blonde goes to the gynecologist, and he examines her.

He says, "You have acute vaginitis."

She says, "Thank you..."