That's Gratitude

I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.

But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.

More Cushion For The Pushin'

How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?

Piece of cake.

Cats Life

How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?

He's smoking a cigarette.

A Real Romantic

I asked my wife to give me a blow job. She said "Can't you be more romantic?"

So I told her "Sure, give me a blow job... in the rain."

And that's when the fight started...