See If He Measures Up
Know when a man is well hung?
When you can barely slip a finger in between his neck & the noose.
Know when a man is well hung?
When you can barely slip a finger in between his neck & the noose.
What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?
Take them off next time.
A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. Each time he took a shot he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look, then stuck it back in his pocket. Finally, a friend walks up to him and asks: "Hey man. I've been watching you all night. What do you keep checking in your pocket?"
"That's a picture of my wife."
"So why do you keep looking at it?"
"Because," he replied: "When she finally starts looking good, then it's time to go home."
One night my wife tried to get a rise out of me and make me jealous. She asked: "Honey, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
I told her: "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
And that's when the fight started...