Advice For Prepared Citizens
If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.
She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."
Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."
Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."
How many teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Twelve ... you got a problem?
One night my wife tried to get a rise out of me and make me jealous. She asked: "Honey, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
I told her: "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
And that's when the fight started...