Leaky Pipes
Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."
The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"
"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."
Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."
The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"
"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."
Three words to ruin a man's ego...
"Is it in?"
(Not that Ol' Dick Johnson has ever heard that or anything like it!)
What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?
A tran-sister.
My wife saw a Craigslist ad where a guy was offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. She looked at me and asked: "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," I told her. "The season's more than half over!"
And that's when the fight started...