A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

For Those Who Like Hunting

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea.

What about a deer with no eyes & no legs?

Still no idea.

And a deer with no eyes, no legs & no dick?

Still no fuckin' idea.

Pinocchio's Complaint

Pinnochio tells his Dad that whenever he has sex with a girl, she complains about the splinters. His father gives him a piece of sand paper and tells him to rub his dick with it before sex and it should solve the problem.

A few days later, his father asks: "How are things going with the girls?" Pinocchio tells him: "Girls... who needs girls?"

This Job Is A Real Kick In The Butt

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

(And in case you are wondering, yes, I'll be here all night!)

Her Life Matters

Working in the garage this morning my wife barges in nagging about not showing her any respect. She demands I recognize her life has value too.
So I pick her up, give her a big hug and dump her in the recycle bin.
And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

All Sinners Must Come And Confess

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Not Quite A Dozen Roses

My wife and I went to counseling to improve our marriage. While attending one session dealing with communication, the counselor instructed: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

Looking at me she said: "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

I looked over, touched my wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

And that's when the fight started...

How Do You Know For Sure

How do you know if a hippie's been staying at your house?

He's still there.