One of Life's Lessons
Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.
The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.
Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.
The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.
Morris walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I've got a constant erection. At first it was fun, but then it became painful and embarrassing."
He takes down his pants, and his hardon is sticking straight out. The doctor looks at it for a minute, then whacks it with two fingers. A little bug jumps off, scurries away and just like that the hardon goes right down.
Morris says, "Gee, Doc, that's great. How much do I owe you?"
The doctor says, "Help me find that bug and you don't owe me a thing."
Two women are walking home from a night at the bar and have to pee. So they take a quick detour stop at a cemetery. Problem is they have nothing to wipe with. One decides to use her panties while the other grabs a nearby wreath.
The next day one of the husbands calls the other, "Those girls are are never going out again! My wife came home last night without any panties!"
His buddy replies, "You think that's bad? My wife came home with a card in her crack that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we will never forget you!'"
A farmer bursts into the bedroom with his wife in bed and a sheep under his arm. He yells, "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache!" The wife looks up and says, "That's not pig dumbass, it's a sheep!"
The farmer looks over and shouts: "Quiet! I wasn't talking to you!"
And that's when the fight started...