A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Dog Lifestyle

The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.

Correct Dosage

Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?

They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.

Cop Pulls A Guy Over

A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Hey pal... did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"

"Thank God... I thought I went deaf."

And When You Die...

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Father, The Son, And ? ....

Little Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way.
Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearin' your collar backwards?"
The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards!"

Where To Get A Cheap Beer

Guy walks in to a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says that'll be five bucks.

The guy is outraged. "Five bucks?" he says, "Why down the street the bar only charges a buck. And with every drink you get a lottery ticket to win free sex in the back."

The bartender looks at him and asks: "Did you ever win?" The guy says: "No... but my wife won three times."

Right Idea Wrong Place

You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.