Bad Habits Are Hard To Break
Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
Broke hooker to girlfriend while walking the streets together: "Lend me 10 bucks till I'm on my back again"
A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.
A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"
The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my idiot husband Is out fishing in that?"
And that's when the fight started...