Just Like Your Father

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"

Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

Liqour In The Front

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

A liqour cabinet.

A True Poet

My contribution to poetry & truth:

Roses are red that much is true. But violets are purple not fucking blue.

Under Pressure

I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"

I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."

And that's when the fight started...