Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

A man goes to a $10 hooker and gets the crabs.

When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"

What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.

The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.

If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?

Teacher to the class: "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"

So Little Johnny raises his hand: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher said looked puzzled but answered: "Of course not Johnny."

To which Little Johnny answered: "Then I have definitely crapped my pants."