Every Frickin' Joke

Like Father, Like Son

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 10 July 2015; Hits: 3144

If my son farts or has his hands down his pants, my wife smiles and says, “Like father, like son!”

Yesterday we caught him screwing the neighbor, but for some reason it wasn’t so funny when I said it.

Wrong Answer

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 09 July 2015; Hits: 3392

My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.

Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

How To Make Your Husband Happy

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 08 July 2015; Hits: 3660

The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."

The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."

"I know how to fuck him, mom," the daughter interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."

Better Than Nothing

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 07 July 2015; Hits: 3263

Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?

There's not much variety, but what else is open at three in the morning.

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From Down Under

A 40-year old woman never married because she only wanted a man who had never been with a woman sexually. And as you might imagine she searched for years but never could find one. So she finally tried one of those International dating sites and sure enough met a man who had lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. After a long-distance online courtship, they finally decided to marry.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare herself for the long awaited moment. When she walks back into the bedroom she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, totally naked, and he has all the furniture piled in one corner. "What happened?" she asks.

"I’ve never been with a woman," he tells her. "But if it’s anything like fucking a kangaroo I’m gonna need all the room I can get!"

Not the Same Old Routine

My wife wanted to be a little playful, so she whispered: "Say dirty things to me!"

So I said: "Bathroom, kitchen, living room..."

And that's when the fight started...

Very Much The Same

What do a condom & a coffin have in common?

You cum in one, go in the other & they both contain stiffs.