Until I Met A Boy Who Had No Hands

: Created: 25 December 2014; Hits: 2691

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves!

Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

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Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

After I'm Gone

I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."

"I do"

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I asked my wife what she'd do if I won the lottery. She told me she'd take half and leave me.

So I told her: "Great! I won 10 bucks on a scratch-off this morning. Here's your five, now get the fuck out."

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