Until I Met A Boy Who Had No Hands

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves!

Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

Keep this in mind... a honeymoon should only be for six days. Why? Because seven days make a whole week.

In fact, don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days, or you will get a weak end.

Just sayin'...

Why don't Canadians attend orgies?

Too many thank-you notes to write afterwards.

Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.

Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?