Until I Met A Boy Who Had No Hands

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves!

Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

Tragically Mickey and Minnie Mouse found themselves in divorce court.

The judge asked Mickey: "Mr. Mouse, are you telling this court that you wish to divorce your wife simply because you think she's crazy?"

Mickey replied: "I never said she was crazy... I said she was fuckin' Goofy!"

My wife was curious. She asked: "When do married men stop jerking off?"

I told her: "When they get divorced."

And that's when the fight started...

If you force a prostitute to screw you, is it rape or shoplifting?

You choose.