A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After takeoff the stewardess came to take the drink orders. The Irishman asked for a whiskey. When she asked the Mormon if he'd like a drink he replied in disgust, "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman grabs the stewardess by the arm and says, "Instead of the whiskey, can I have what he's having. I didn't know I had a choice!"
Morris walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I've got a constant erection. At first it was fun, but then it became painful and embarrassing."
He takes down his pants, and his hardon is sticking straight out. The doctor looks at it for a minute, then whacks it with two fingers. A little bug jumps off, scurries away and just like that the hardon goes right down.
Morris says, "Gee, Doc, that's great. How much do I owe you?"
The doctor says, "Help me find that bug and you don't owe me a thing."
