What's the job application at Hooters?
They just hand you a bra and say: "Here, fill this out."
Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.
She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.
What's a birth control pill?
That's the other thing a girl can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant.
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
...so, I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started...
