What's the job application at Hooters?
They just hand you a bra and say: "Here, fill this out."
A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns.
The guy says, "Fuck...it works."
What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?
Shoot him again.
What's the definition of a lady?
Someone who doesn't drink or smoke, and the only time she curses is when your dick slips out.
