A son asks his father: "What's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'."
His father thinks for a moment then says: "Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with George Clooney for a million bucks."
So he does and mom says: "You bet I would!" The boy reports back to his father but still doesn't understand.
So the father says: "Now, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks."
Off he goes to ask his sister and her reply is: "Absolutely!"
Finally the boy goes back to his dad and says: "I think I get it pop. 'Potentially' we are sitting on two million dollars here... but in 'reality' we're living with a couple of whores."
A guy gets a text from his neighbor, "I'm really sorry Harry. I've been saddled with so much guilt that I have to confess. I've been tapping your wife day and night when you're not home. In fact, probably a lot more than you. I don't get it at home, but that's no excuse. I just can't deal with the guilt any more ... I hope you'll accept my apology and my promise that it won't happen again."
Furious, the guy grabs his gun, storms into his wife's bedroom and shoots her dead.
A few minutes later, he gets another text: "Fucking auto-correct. I meant wifi, not wife."
