D*ck Joke of the Day
A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.
  • Home
  • Dick Jokes
  • Just Plain Funny
  • That's when the fight started
  • WTF?!
  • About
  • Send Dick A Joke

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

  1. You are here:  
  2. Home
  3. Every Frickin' Joke

Every Frickin' Joke

Take Out The Trash

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 28 October 2014
Hits: 2932

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...

Golf Lessons

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 October 2014
Hits: 4049

A woman goes to the golf pro to take some lessons. Apparently she has a terrible drive and can't help slicing or hooking every shot. The pro watches her for a while then tells her: "Your problem is that you are gripping the club too tight. You need to grip the shaft it a little more gently. Try gripping the club just like you grip your husband at night under the sheets."

Bam. The next shot is straight down the fairway... but only about 15 yards.

The pro says: "Not bad... now... take the club out of your mouth and let's go for distance."

Adoption Laws

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 26 October 2014
Hits: 3242

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.

On The Bus

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 25 October 2014
Hits: 3375

A punk rocker type boards a bus. He's wearing a leather vest and pants, studded collar and cuffs, and he's sporting an 8" mohawk hairdo in a rainbow of colors.

An old guy just stares at him. Finally the punk looks over at the old guy and says: "What'sa matter old man. Didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"

The old guy looks back and says: "Yeah... I fucked a parrot one time. Thought you might be my kid."

Page 279 of 286

  • 274
  • 275
  • 276
  • 277
  • 278
  • 279
  • 280
  • 281
  • 282
  • 283

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sincerity Out Of A Can

My buddy, at a party we threw, paid my wife a nice compliment.  He told her: "You're really a good-looking women. Honest, I really mean it... I've only had one beer."

As my wife smiled back to thank him I quickly added: "Imagine how good she'll look after you've had two!"

And that's whent the fight started...

Nag Nag Nag

Jake the farmer has an incredibly nagging wife. One day he's out in the field, she brings his lunch to him, and then sits there and berates him while he's eating. Suddenly, the mule kicks up his back legs, smacking her in the head, and it kills her instantly.

At the wake, the minister notices that when a woman offers her sympathy, Jake nods his head up and down, but when a man comes up and speaks to him, he shakes his head from side to side. The minister says to Jake, "Why was it that you nod your head up and down to all the women and shake your head from side to side to all the men?"

Jake says, "The women all say how nice she looks, and how pretty her dress is. The men all say, Is that mule for sale?'"

 

One Professional to Another

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around and yells: "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

The guy behind him says: "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

Copyright © 2026 D*ck Joke Of The Day. All Rights Reserved.