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Every Frickin' Joke

Take Out The Trash

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 28 October 2014
Hits: 2894

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...

Golf Lessons

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 October 2014
Hits: 4001

A woman goes to the golf pro to take some lessons. Apparently she has a terrible drive and can't help slicing or hooking every shot. The pro watches her for a while then tells her: "Your problem is that you are gripping the club too tight. You need to grip the shaft it a little more gently. Try gripping the club just like you grip your husband at night under the sheets."

Bam. The next shot is straight down the fairway... but only about 15 yards.

The pro says: "Not bad... now... take the club out of your mouth and let's go for distance."

Adoption Laws

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 26 October 2014
Hits: 3197

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.

On The Bus

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 25 October 2014
Hits: 3332

A punk rocker type boards a bus. He's wearing a leather vest and pants, studded collar and cuffs, and he's sporting an 8" mohawk hairdo in a rainbow of colors.

An old guy just stares at him. Finally the punk looks over at the old guy and says: "What'sa matter old man. Didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"

The old guy looks back and says: "Yeah... I fucked a parrot one time. Thought you might be my kid."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

No Monkey Business

A lady gets on a train with her baby. A guy sitting across from her looks at the baby and starts laughing hysterically.

He says, "Lady, that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. It looks like a monkey. What an ugly kid."

The lady freaks out, and goes running into the next car sobbing uncontrollably. The conductor sees her, comes over to her to console her.

He says, "Lady, relax...things are going to be all right...we'll get off at the next stop, get a cup of coffee...maybe we'll even find a banana for your monkey."

Call Me Old Fashioned

You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?

Because they are tired of using their own.

They're All Doin' It

Two rednecks are out fishing. The first one asks: "If I go to your house and fuck your wife and get her pregnant and she has a kid, would that make us kinfolk?"

The friend says: "Nope. That'd make us about even."

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