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Take Out The Trash

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 28 October 2014
Hits: 2823

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...

Golf Lessons

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 October 2014
Hits: 3914

A woman goes to the golf pro to take some lessons. Apparently she has a terrible drive and can't help slicing or hooking every shot. The pro watches her for a while then tells her: "Your problem is that you are gripping the club too tight. You need to grip the shaft it a little more gently. Try gripping the club just like you grip your husband at night under the sheets."

Bam. The next shot is straight down the fairway... but only about 15 yards.

The pro says: "Not bad... now... take the club out of your mouth and let's go for distance."

Adoption Laws

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 26 October 2014
Hits: 3085

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.

On The Bus

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 25 October 2014
Hits: 3265

A punk rocker type boards a bus. He's wearing a leather vest and pants, studded collar and cuffs, and he's sporting an 8" mohawk hairdo in a rainbow of colors.

An old guy just stares at him. Finally the punk looks over at the old guy and says: "What'sa matter old man. Didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"

The old guy looks back and says: "Yeah... I fucked a parrot one time. Thought you might be my kid."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

She Loved My Pickle!

A man comes home from his job at the pickle factory and tells his wife he was fired. She asks him what happened and he tells her "I got fired for putting my dick in the pickle slicer."

His wife replies "On no! Are you okay?"

The man says "Yeah I'm fine."

His wife replies "You're not hurt? Was the slicer turned on?"

The man says "Oh yeah, she loved it."

She's The Boss

A third-grade teacher is getting to know her class on the first day of school. She turns to one little girl and asks, "So what does your daddy do?"

The little girl replies, "Whatever Mommy tells him to."

Facts About The Big City

The average vagina 8" deep, the average penis 5 1/2" long. Do the math. In New York City alone there's 165 miles of unused pussy.

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