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Take Out The Trash

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 28 October 2014
Hits: 2880

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...

Golf Lessons

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 October 2014
Hits: 3985

A woman goes to the golf pro to take some lessons. Apparently she has a terrible drive and can't help slicing or hooking every shot. The pro watches her for a while then tells her: "Your problem is that you are gripping the club too tight. You need to grip the shaft it a little more gently. Try gripping the club just like you grip your husband at night under the sheets."

Bam. The next shot is straight down the fairway... but only about 15 yards.

The pro says: "Not bad... now... take the club out of your mouth and let's go for distance."

Adoption Laws

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 26 October 2014
Hits: 3174

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.

On The Bus

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 25 October 2014
Hits: 3321

A punk rocker type boards a bus. He's wearing a leather vest and pants, studded collar and cuffs, and he's sporting an 8" mohawk hairdo in a rainbow of colors.

An old guy just stares at him. Finally the punk looks over at the old guy and says: "What'sa matter old man. Didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"

The old guy looks back and says: "Yeah... I fucked a parrot one time. Thought you might be my kid."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Being A Lawyer Isn't So Bad

A lawyer asks his partner, "Are you fucking the new secretary?"

The partner tells him, "No."

So the first lawyer says, "Great! Then you fire her."

Anniversary Hint

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...

Who'd You Call An Asshole?

A guy in a bar stands up & says, "All lawyers are assholes." Another guy stands up & says "Hey...I resent that..." The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."

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