Every Frickin' Joke

Anniversary Hint

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 16 October 2014; Hits: 3894

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...

Walk Down The Aisle

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 15 October 2014; Hits: 4209

Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?

Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.

A Musician

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 14 October 2014; Hits: 4415

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

Out To Lunch

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 13 October 2014; Hits: 3586

Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

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Ruled By A Dictator

My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

Turned That List Into a Rap Sheet

Why did Santa get arrested?

He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!

Cure For Constipation

A nun walks into a liquor store and says, "Give me a pint of brandy." The guy says, "Sister, I've never sold alcohol to a nun." She says, "It's for the Mother Superior, she's constipated."

So he sells it to her. Later that night, he walks out, and there's the nun on the stoop, with the empty bottle, drunk as a skunk, singing and laughing. He says, "Sister, for shame. You told me the bottle was for the Mother Superior's constipation."

The nun says, "It is. She's constipated, and when she sees me, she's gonna shit."