Every Frickin' Joke

Anniversary Hint

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 16 October 2014; Hits: 3631

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...

Walk Down The Aisle

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 15 October 2014; Hits: 3924

Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?

Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.

A Musician

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 14 October 2014; Hits: 4164

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

Out To Lunch

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 13 October 2014; Hits: 3305

Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

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A Simple Request

Last night I smiled at my wife and asked: "Honey, will you do something with your mouth that all men love?" She smiled back coyly and said: "And what is that, darling?"

I said: "Close it!"

And that's when the fight started...

Making Love

A married couple thought they were way too interested in sex, so they decided to make love only in the months that had an "R" in them. This worked OK until they hit May, June, and July.

Finally, the husband came home from work onr night and asked his wife, "What month is it?"

She looked up at him and smiled, "Aurgust,"

You Can't Unread This One

What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste. Ewww...