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Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 20 October 2014
Hits: 2387

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said: 'Do you want to have sex?

"'No!" she answered. Then I said: "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, and just said: "Yes."

So I said: "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

Two Meet At A Bar

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 19 October 2014
Hits: 2290

A car salesman sits down at a bar next to a hooker.

He orders a drink and says: "If I don't sell some cars I'm going to lose my ass."

The hooker looks at him and says: "Yeah... well if I don't sell some ass I'm gonna lose my car."

The New Pet

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 18 October 2014
Hits: 4029

A guy is just miserable.  So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.

The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."

The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."

So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.

When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"

The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."

The Diagnosis

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 17 October 2014
Hits: 2944

An old guy visits a doctor. The doctor examines him and then sits down in the office for a consultation on his diagnosis.

"Well..." the doctor begins,  "I'm sorry to have to tell you this... but you have cancer and you have Alzheimers."

The old guy looks at the doctor for a moment then says: "Thank god I don't have cancer."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Celebrate Good Times C'mon

Husband takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king – moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that guy? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him... but I said no."

Husband says: "Yep... and it looks like he’s still celebrating!!"

And that's when the fight started...

Paralysis Comes Easy

How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?

Marry her.

Listen To Your Mother...

Did you hear about the Jewish mother doll?

You pull the string and it says, "Again with the string..."

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