Every Frickin' Joke
Baby Polar Bear
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 1254
A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"
His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."
Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"
His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"
"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."
Do What Mama Says
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 1326
His date warned him: "My mama made me promise I'd say 'NO' to all your advances."
He says: "Sure, no problem. You wouldn't mind if I fucked you in the ass, would ya?"
Paralysis Comes Easy
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 1186
How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?
Marry her.
Take Out The Trash
- Category: And that's when the fight started...
- Hits: 956
One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.
I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."
And that's when the fight started...
Golf Lessons
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 1412
A woman goes to the golf pro to take some lessons. Apparently she has a terrible drive and can't help slicing or hooking every shot. The pro watches her for a while then tells her: "Your problem is that you are gripping the club too tight. You need to grip the shaft it a little more gently. Try gripping the club just like you grip your husband at night under the sheets."
Bam. The next shot is straight down the fairway... but only about 15 yards.
The pro says: "Not bad... now... take the club out of your mouth and let's go for distance."
Adoption Laws
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 1150
Why can't lesbians adopt a child?
Because they don't serve minors to lickers.
On The Bus
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 1099
A punk rocker type boards a bus. He's wearing a leather vest and pants, studded collar and cuffs, and he's sporting an 8" mohawk hairdo in a rainbow of colors.
An old guy just stares at him. Finally the punk looks over at the old guy and says: "What'sa matter old man. Didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?"
The old guy looks back and says: "Yeah... I fucked a parrot one time. Thought you might be my kid."
A Case Of Beer
- Category: And that's when the fight started...
- Hits: 1090
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look way better at night than any jar of cold cream.
And that's when the fight started...
