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At The Restaurant

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 01 November 2014
Hits: 2996

I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

Baby Polar Bear

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 31 October 2014
Hits: 3489

A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"

His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."

Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."

Do What Mama Says

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 30 October 2014
Hits: 3767

His date warned him: "My mama made me promise I'd say 'NO' to all your advances."

He says: "Sure, no problem. You wouldn't mind if I fucked you in the ass, would ya?"

Paralysis Comes Easy

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 29 October 2014
Hits: 3321

How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?

Marry her.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

That's Pretty Tight!

A priest gets a flat tire fixed.

As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"

The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."

The priest says, "You better give them another turn."

Some things last forever ... and some don't!

What's the difference between love and herpes?

Love doesn't last forever.

Excuses, Excuses

A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."

"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"

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