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At The Restaurant

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 01 November 2014
Hits: 2335

I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

Baby Polar Bear

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 31 October 2014
Hits: 2896

A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"

His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."

Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."

Do What Mama Says

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 30 October 2014
Hits: 3000

His date warned him: "My mama made me promise I'd say 'NO' to all your advances."

He says: "Sure, no problem. You wouldn't mind if I fucked you in the ass, would ya?"

Paralysis Comes Easy

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 29 October 2014
Hits: 2676

How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?

Marry her.

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One Man's Heaven Is Another Woman's Hell

Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

Stuck On A Desert Island

Three guys and a girl are marooned on a desert island. After one week, the girl is so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself.

After another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing, they bury her.

After another week, they're so ashamed of what they're doing, they dig her up again.

Too Fat

How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?

You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.

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