A woman goes to the golf pro to take some lessons. Apparently she has a terrible drive and can't help slicing or hooking every shot. The pro watches her for a while then tells her: "Your problem is that you are gripping the club too tight. You need to grip the shaft it a little more gently. Try gripping the club just like you grip your husband at night under the sheets."
Bam. The next shot is straight down the fairway... but only about 15 yards.
The pro says: "Not bad... now... take the club out of your mouth and let's go for distance."