Every Frickin' Joke

A Case Of Beer

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 24 October 2014; Hits: 2797

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look way better at night than any jar of cold cream.

And that's when the fight started...

As He Walked Through The Bar

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 23 October 2014; Hits: 3336

A young guy walks into a bar and as he passes an old man sitting there the old guy looks up and blurts out: "I fucked your mother."

The young guy ignores the old coot and keeps on walkin' when the old guy shouts: "Your mother sucks my dick".

So the young guy turns back and says: "Dad... your drunk... go home."

A Dwarf And A Midget

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 22 October 2014; Hits: 3360

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common?

Very little.

On The Parade Route

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 21 October 2014; Hits: 4253

Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.

One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."

The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"

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I'm A Little Hungry

An old guy and his wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The old gal tells her husband: "Go in the kitchen and get me some ice cream." So the old guy gets up and shuffles off to bring his sweetie a treat. By the time he gets to the kitchen he totally forgets what he's there for. So he opens the fridge, looks around and finally grabs some eggs and bacon. He whips up a quick batch of bacon and eggs and heads back to the den.

When he walks in carrying the plate his wife looks up with a scowl and barks: "You forgot the toast!"

Ahh... The Good Old Days

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.

The first lady recalled shopping at the grocer and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper back then, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about."

Making Love

A married couple thought they were way too interested in sex, so they decided to make love only in the months that had an "R" in them. This worked OK until they hit May, June, and July.

Finally, the husband came home from work onr night and asked his wife, "What month is it?"

She looked up at him and smiled, "Aurgust,"