Every Frickin' Joke

Another One Into A Bar

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 13 November 2014; Hits: 3551

Baby seal walks into a bar.

Bartender says "What'll it be?"

Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

So What Does It Mean?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 12 November 2014; Hits: 3529

What's it mean when two lesbians make love?

It doesn't mean dick.

Where Shall We Go?

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 11 November 2014; Hits: 3292

My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.

I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."

And that's when the fight started...

How To Tell The DIfference

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 10 November 2014; Hits: 3008

What's the difference between a girl who spits and a girl who swallows?

A wedding ring.

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Can Lawyers Swim?

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean.

A good start.

On The Night Beat

A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

Salad

What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden?

Seizure Salad.