Every Frickin' Joke

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 1210

What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?

Focused.

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 1061

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?

They're too bitter.

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 1437

What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?

Your last blow job.

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 1115

World population has become a big problem. Experts say every 4 seconds a woman gives birth to another baby.

Our problem? We have to find this woman and stop her.

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 1347

A son asks his father: "What's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'."

His father thinks for a moment then says: "Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with George Clooney for a million bucks."

So he does and mom says: "You bet I would!" The boy reports back to his father but still doesn't understand.

So the father says: "Now, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks."

Off he goes to ask his sister and her reply is: "Absolutely!"

Finally the boy goes back to his dad and says: "I think I get it pop. 'Potentially' we are sitting on two million dollars here... but in 'reality' we're living with a couple of whores."

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 1691

What's worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car when you're parked outside an abortion clinic?

Going in to ask if you can borrow a coat hanger.

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 1756

A guy takes his date back to her place. He gets her up to her bedroom where he sees a wall full of fluffy toys.

After he fucks her he asks her: "How was I?"

She says: "Take anything from the bottom shelf."

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 1039

I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...