Every Frickin' Joke

Another One Into A Bar

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 13 November 2014; Hits: 3618

Baby seal walks into a bar.

Bartender says "What'll it be?"

Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

So What Does It Mean?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 12 November 2014; Hits: 3617

What's it mean when two lesbians make love?

It doesn't mean dick.

Where Shall We Go?

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 11 November 2014; Hits: 3367

My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.

I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."

And that's when the fight started...

How To Tell The DIfference

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 10 November 2014; Hits: 3071

What's the difference between a girl who spits and a girl who swallows?

A wedding ring.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A manager hired a new secretary who was young, sweet and proper. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. As she left the room, she politely remarked, “Sir, did you know your barracks door is open?”

At first the boss didn't understand what she meant. But later he looked down and saw his open zipper. That's when he decided to have a little fun with his new hire. Calling her back in, he asked, “By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you notice a soldier standing at attention?”

To which his secretary very smartly replied, “Why, no sir. All I saw was a disabled veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!”

Probably a Bad Practice

Dr. Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he'd hear an internal voice that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go."

But invariably, the another voice would bring him back to reality. "But Dave, you're a vet."

How To Make Your Husband Happy

The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."

The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."

"I know how to fuck him, mom," the daughter interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."