A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Nude In Front Of The Mirror

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 3567

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

Flag At Half Staff

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 3060

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

Asked About A Nun

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 3621

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

What's Cookin'

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 3438

What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't cook... they eat out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Danger of Leaving Town

Guy tells his brother, "I have to go to out of town for a couple of weeks. I need to leave my cat with you. Please take real good care of her." His brother says, "Relax. I got this."

A few days later, he calls his brother and asks, "So, how's my cat?" His brother tells him, "The cat's dead."

"Geeeez" says the guy, "Why'd you have to be so blunt? Couldn't you have broken it to me a little more gently? Like, you could have told me the cat was on the roof, and you had to call the Fire Department.  But just before they got there, she slipped and fell to the ground. So you scooped her up and rushed her to the vet. But there was nothing he could do to save her. Something like that would have been much more sensitive." His brother says, "Whatever."

So then the guy asks, "How's Mom?"

His brother thinks for a moment then says, "Uh... Mom's on the roof ..."

No Advice Needed

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady walked up, saying: "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?"

"My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny.

"Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted.

"No," said Johnny, "but he minded his own freakin' business."

Talent From Top To Bottom

What do you call a guy who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you the flavor?

A smartass!