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Nude In Front Of The Mirror

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 12 October 2014
Hits: 3549

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

Flag At Half Staff

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 11 October 2014
Hits: 3048

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

Asked About A Nun

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 10 October 2014
Hits: 3589

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

What's Cookin'

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 09 October 2014
Hits: 3416

What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't cook... they eat out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

I Hereby Sentence You

A husband gets home from his day in court on a traffic offense and his wife asks: "So, how did it go?"

The husband replies: "Well honey, I ended up in front of Judge Calloway, you remember, the judge who married us. Turns out he remembered me too... so I pleaded 'guilty with explanation' and he only gave me a small fine. That was way better than the last time, when you and I were in there together. That time he gave me life without the possibility of parole."

And that's when the fight started...

Seize The Moment

A guy comes home from work and finds his wife on her hands and knees in the kitchen scrubbing the floor. She only has an apron on so the husband gets a big hard on. Seizing the moment he quickly slips it in and starts humping her doggie style. When he's through he pulls out and at the same time hits her real hard up side the head.

"What was that for?" the wife screamed "Here I am being so nice to you, letting you really enjoy yourself. Why'd you hit me?"

The husband looks at her and says "For not looking back to see who it was."

Another One Into A Bar

Baby seal walks into a bar.

Bartender says "What'll it be?"

Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

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