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Nude In Front Of The Mirror

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 12 October 2014
Hits: 3499

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

Flag At Half Staff

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 11 October 2014
Hits: 3005

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

Asked About A Nun

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 10 October 2014
Hits: 3503

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

What's Cookin'

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 09 October 2014
Hits: 3352

What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't cook... they eat out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Back To Her Place

A guy takes his date back to her place. He gets her up to her bedroom where he sees a wall full of fluffy toys.

After he fucks her he asks her: "How was I?"

She says: "Take anything from the bottom shelf."

Who Wants To Be My Bitch?

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.

"And you, Susie? " the teacher asks.

Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

I'll Drink To That

There's a huge five-alarm fire at the local bar and trucks are dispatched from every station. When it's finally under control, one of the chiefs walks in and finds two Irish guys drinking at the bar. The chief says, "I can't believe you guys were in here the whole time. How'd the fire start?"

One of the Irish guys says, "We have no idea. It was burning when we got here."

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