A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Nude In Front Of The Mirror

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 3465

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

Flag At Half Staff

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2984

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

Asked About A Nun

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 3466

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

What's Cookin'

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 3320

What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't cook... they eat out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Love That New iWatch errr Apple Watch

A Marine fighter pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks down at his new Apple Watch. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art Apple Watch, and I was just testing it.”

Intrigued, the woman inquires, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?” The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

Now she's really interested, so she says, “What’s it telling you now?” "Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.” The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

The fighter pilot looks down again, taps his watch a couple of times then smiles and says, “Darnn! This thing’s an hour fast.” And that, my friends...Is confidence!

No Need To Call A Repairman

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

Just The Tip?

As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife. She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"