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Nude In Front Of The Mirror

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 12 October 2014
Hits: 3469

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

Flag At Half Staff

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 11 October 2014
Hits: 2988

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

Asked About A Nun

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 10 October 2014
Hits: 3474

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

What's Cookin'

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 09 October 2014
Hits: 3324

What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't cook... they eat out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Off-Label Usage

Nursing homes now give Viagra to the old guys living there.

Keeps them from rolling out of bed.

A Guy At The Bar

A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.

The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "

"Getting my date drunk."

Try This Pickup Line

Old Dick is always willing to help a guy score with a great pickup line. Here's one you can try:

"I'd like to point out that 'beautiful' has 'u' in it. But, 'quickie' has u & i together."

You're welcome.

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