A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Nude In Front Of The Mirror

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 3428

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

Flag At Half Staff

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2963

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

Asked About A Nun

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 3434

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

What's Cookin'

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 3294

What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't cook... they eat out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Depends On What You Call It

Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?

Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

The New Pet

A guy is just miserable.  So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.

The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."

The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."

So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.

When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"

The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."

A Very Special Valentine

I was talking to my buddy on the phone when my wife walked in. It being Valentine's day she must have been curious when she heard me say:

"I gotta tell ya... I really spoiled her today..."

So with her curiosity running wild she continued to eavesdrop and heard the rest.

"First I bought her a lovely new scent.
Then I rubbed essential oils into her beautiful body.
And then I did the hoovering and the dusting.
Man, I really love that car."

And that's when the fight started...