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Nude In Front Of The Mirror

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 12 October 2014
Hits: 3552

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She wasn't happy with what she saw, so she said: "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

I told her: "Your eyesight's damn near perfect!"

And that's when the fight started...

Flag At Half Staff

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 11 October 2014
Hits: 3051

What does it mean when they fly the flag at half staff at the post office.

They're hiring.

Asked About A Nun

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 10 October 2014
Hits: 3594

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

What's Cookin'

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 09 October 2014
Hits: 3419

What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't cook... they eat out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Who'd You Call An Asshole?

A guy in a bar stands up & says, "All lawyers are assholes." Another guy stands up & says "Hey...I resent that..." The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."

Golf Lessons

A woman goes to the golf pro to take some lessons. Apparently she has a terrible drive and can't help slicing or hooking every shot. The pro watches her for a while then tells her: "Your problem is that you are gripping the club too tight. You need to grip the shaft it a little more gently. Try gripping the club just like you grip your husband at night under the sheets."

Bam. The next shot is straight down the fairway... but only about 15 yards.

The pro says: "Not bad... now... take the club out of your mouth and let's go for distance."

A Real Woman

A plane is about to crash. A woman stands up and yells, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Who's going to be man enough to do it?"

A large man stands up and rips his shirt off, "Here! Iron this!"

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