Why can't lesbians adopt a child?
Because they don't serve minors to lickers.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)
After a night of drinking, drugs and wild sex, I woke up to find myself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when I realized I made it home safely.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
