Why can't lesbians adopt a child?
Because they don't serve minors to lickers.
Difference between a friend & a real friend?
A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.
What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
As soon as you see it coming you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
My wife and I were discussing the current state of NASA and the space program. She asked: "Why do you think they never sent a woman to the moon?"
I told her: "'Cause it doesn't need cleaning."
And that's when the fight started...
