Why can't lesbians adopt a child?
Because they don't serve minors to lickers.
How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look way better at night than any jar of cold cream.
And that's when the fight started...
Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
