Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

How do you confuse a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.

What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?

A beer in each hand.

What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?

A Klondike Bar.

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What do you call a man who lost all his intelligence?

A widower.

Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."

"So... what's the problem?"

"I don't get up until 9."

Three guys are sitting in a bar bitching about how stupid their wives are.

The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and we don't even have a garage."

The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to her iPod and she doesn't have any earphones for it."

The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a dick."

Can You Give A Date To This?