Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."

"So... what's the problem?"

"I don't get up until 9."

A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Hey pal... did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"

"Thank God... I thought I went deaf."

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The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."

The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."

"I know how to fuck him, mom," the daughter interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."

What'd the Polish guy say when he came home and found his best friend on top of his wife?

Down, Fido, down boy!

My wife asked me to guess what she wanted for her birthday.

So I said: "Your face from 10 years ago?"

And that's when the fight started...

Old Guy Visits the Doctor