Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."

"So... what's the problem?"

"I don't get up until 9."

A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Hey pal... did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"

"Thank God... I thought I went deaf."

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My wife is constantly complaining that I don't listen to her...

...or something like that.

Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."

The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"

"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."

I turned my whole life around.

I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.

Old Guy Visits the Doctor