A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Old Guy Visits the Doctor

Hits: 3835

Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."

"So... what's the problem?"

"I don't get up until 9."

Cop Pulls A Guy Over

Hits: 3815

A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Hey pal... did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"

"Thank God... I thought I went deaf."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Drop The Coin Right Into The Slot

A couple is in divorce court to decide on custody of their child. The judge asks each one to give a reason why they should be the one to keep the child.

The wife says, "Well I carried this child around in me for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process. This is my child and a part of me." Then the judge turns to the husband and asks the same question.

The husband replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out. Now, tell me, who does the drink belong to -- me or the machine"

By Definition

What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?

Full.

Just Like My Husband

Two gals were shopping at the supermarket. The first one grabs a good sized potato in each hand and says, "These remind me of my husband's balls."

Her friend looked impressed and replied, "That big, huh?"

"Nope," was the response, "That dirty."