A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Old Guy Visits the Doctor

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Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."

"So... what's the problem?"

"I don't get up until 9."

Cop Pulls A Guy Over

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A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Hey pal... did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"

"Thank God... I thought I went deaf."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Pinocchio's Complaint

Pinnochio tells his Dad that whenever he has sex with a girl, she complains about the splinters. His father gives him a piece of sand paper and tells him to rub his dick with it before sex and it should solve the problem.

A few days later, his father asks: "How are things going with the girls?" Pinocchio tells him: "Girls... who needs girls?"

I Like Big Butts...

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.

I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.

And that's when the fight started...

My Last Gig

You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.