What should you do if your clothes are on fire?
Don't put 'em on.
I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.
But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.
If you force a prostitute to screw you, is it rape or shoplifting?
You choose.
I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
