What should you do if your clothes are on fire?
Don't put 'em on.
Basically there are 5 kinds of sex:
Smurf Sex - On your honeymoon you keep doing it until you're both blue in the face.
Kitchen Sex - At the beginning of your marriage you'll have sex anytime, anywhere - even in the kitchen.
Bedroom Sex - When you've settled down a bit, maybe have some kids, so you gotta restrict it to the bedroom.
Hallway Sex - You reach the point where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"
Courtroom Sex - Finally, you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of the whole courtroom.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?
His hand caught fire.
An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."
