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Sex Explained

Created: 13 October 2015
Hits: 3182

Basically there are 5 kinds of sex:

Smurf Sex - On your honeymoon you keep doing it until you're both blue in the face.

Kitchen Sex - At the beginning of your marriage you'll have sex anytime, anywhere - even in the kitchen.

Bedroom Sex - When you've settled down a bit, maybe have some kids, so you gotta restrict it to the bedroom.

Hallway Sex - You reach the point where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"

Courtroom Sex - Finally, you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of the whole courtroom.

Sometimes You Need A Break In The Action

Created: 11 October 2015
Hits: 2956

Two Syrian hookers were talking about their problems. One said: "With the Russians jumping into this war we've got soldiers lined up around the block. I need a break!"

Her girlfriend agreed: "Yeah... I think we need to declare a no fly zone."

Advice For Newlyweds

Created: 10 October 2015
Hits: 2813

Keep this in mind... a honeymoon should only be for six days. Why? Because seven days make a whole week.

In fact, don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days, or you will get a weak end.

Just sayin'...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

This Could Come In Handy

A guy's in his car with a girl and says, "How about a hand job?"

She says, "What do I have to do?"

He says, "Remember when you were a kid and you used to shake up a Coke bottle and spray your brother with it? Just do that."

She grabs it and does it. A few minutes later, he starts screaming. She says, "What's wrong?"

He says, "Take your fucking thumb off the end."

Eyeglass Problem Solved

What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?

Take them off next time.

Advice From A Pickup Artist

What do you say to a women with small tits?

Nothing!

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