What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
A girl walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Give me a double entendre."
So he gave it to her.
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.
I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
And that's when the fight started...
How do you know if your wife's dead?
You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.
