What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"
She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."
And that's when the fight started...
A priest is walking down the street and passes by a prostitute who yells out, "$20 for a handjob!"
He keeps walking but later he asks a nun, "What's a handjob?"
She replies, "20 bucks... same as in town."
Topless babe walks up to 2 guys on the beach wearing Hawaiian shirts. They look her up and down and smile. She smiles back and says: "Hello, Fathers."
One guy asks her: "How did you know we're priests?"
"I'm Sister Mary Kathryn. We take vacations, too."
