What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I told him, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!"
Then I unplugged his life support.
How's broccoli like anal sex?
If it was forced on you as a kid, you probably won't enjoy it as an adult.
You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.