Best Friends Forever

Difference between a friend & a real friend?

A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.

My wife was fishing for a compliment. So she asked me: "So, do you think you married Miss Right."

I said: "Yeah, I just didn't know your first name was 'Always.'"

And that's when the fight started...

What do you call a rabbit with no feet?

Unlucky.

Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"