Best Friends Forever

Difference between a friend & a real friend?

A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.

What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control?

A trip without the kids!

I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"

I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."

And that's when the fight started...

How many teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Twelve ... you got a problem?