Best Friends Forever

Difference between a friend & a real friend?

A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.

What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?

Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.

Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?

Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.

Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in?

The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!