Can You Give A Date To This?

How do you confuse a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.

What is a man's view of safe sex?

A padded headboard.

What do all the female reindeer do when santa is busy working with the males on christmas eve?

Go into town and blow a couple of bucks!

Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.

She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.