How do you confuse a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.
Guy goes to his boss and asks for a day off, proudly saying: "My wife's gonna have a baby!" The boss tells him of course you can take the day off.
Two days later the guy shows up for work and the boss asks him: "So... was it a boy or a girl."
The guy replies: "How do I know... it takes nine months!"
My wife was on the rag and really acting like a pain in the ass. So I figured I throw some gas on the fire and told her: "I figured out why they call it PMS... Mad Cow Disease was already taken!"
And that's when the fight started...
My wife popped in while I was watching the game and asked: "Want some supper?"
Without looking up I replied: "What are my choices?" She fired back: "Yes and no!"