Can You Give A Date To This?

How do you confuse a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.

What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

A cop pulls a guy over and gives him the breathalyzer test.

The cop is so shocked he says: "Jesus man... you are REALLY drunk."

The guy looks up and says; "Thank God. I thought my steering went out."

Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

It helps them remember which end to wipe...