What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A Klondike Bar.
My wife and I were discussing the recent death of a friend. She asked me: "Why do you think men die before their wives?"
I said: "Because they want to."
And that's when the fight started...
Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?
Because every time Mrs. Smokey gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"
A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."
