What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A Klondike Bar.
What would you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
I have a a real problem with sex and booze...
Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.
Husband says to his wife, "Here's 2 aspirin & a glass of water for your headache."
"I don't have a headache." His wife tells him
"Good. Now strip. We're fucking."
