What is a lesbian's favorite thing to eat?
A Klondike Bar.
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in?
The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
Honeymoon morning after. Wife: "You're a lousy lover."
Husband: "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?"
Tragically Mickey and Minnie Mouse found themselves in divorce court.
The judge asked Mickey: "Mr. Mouse, are you telling this court that you wish to divorce your wife simply because you think she's crazy?"
Mickey replied: "I never said she was crazy... I said she was fuckin' Goofy!"
