Mindi and Sylvia go to the zoo. A gorilla breaks out of his cage, grabs Sylvia, throws her down, rips off all her clothes, and fucks her. The zookeeper pulls the gorilla off, and takes poor Sylvia to the hospital.
A few days later, Mindi goes to visit her. She says, "So how you are feeling, Sylvia?"
Sylvia says, "So how should I feel? He doesn't call, he doesn't write..."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping. As they look up into the sky, Holmes asks, "Watson, tell me what you see."
Watson says, "I see millions of stars." Holmes then asks, "And what does that tell you?" Watson thinks for a minute then says, "Astronomically, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes answers, "It tells me somebody stole our fucking tent."
