Guy walks in to a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says that'll be five bucks.
The guy is outraged. "Five bucks?" he says, "Why down the street the bar only charges a buck. And with every drink you get a lottery ticket to win free sex in the back."
The bartender looks at him and asks: "Did you ever win?" The guy says: "No... but my wife won three times."
The other day my wife and I were golfing when she suddenly asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" I told her, "No sweetie" but she shot right back with "Oh I'm sure you would." So to keep the peace I said "Okay, I would." Then she asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" and not knowing where this was going I told her, "Yeah... I guess so."
Finally she asked me, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" and I told her, "No, she's left handed."
