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Can't Live Without It

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 23 August 2015
Hits: 3025

Sex is just like air...

It's no big deal until you're not getting any.

Too Fat

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 22 August 2015
Hits: 3888

How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?

You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.

How's Your Credit?

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 21 August 2015
Hits: 4038

How is sex like credit?

It's the people who need it most who can't get any.

 

No Talking In The Library

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 20 August 2015
Hits: 4079

The blonde said: "I want French fries and a diet Coke."

The librarian looked at her and snapped: "This is a library!"

So the blonde leaned in and whispered: "Sorry ... I want French Fries and a diet Coke."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Maybe He'll Propose?

I overheard my girlfriend on the phone say to her friend she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day.

Hope she finds someone nice.

There's No Substitute

I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. 'Cause girls will say things like: "Oh, we're not going to have sex, but I'll give you a hand job."

Hey! Newsflash: I have hands... they have the job... the position is filled... I don't need to outsource the work... alright? If you got a pussy for the job, we can talk -- 'cause I am always hiring.

Sounds Like My Ex-Wife

What's a necrophiliac's biggest complaint about sex?

She just kinda lays there.

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