Little Johnny's parents got divorced. One night Little Johnny walked past his mother's bedroom, the door was open, and he sees his mother lying on her back playing with herself, saying "I need a man... I need a man..."
A few nights later he walks past her bedroom again, the door's open, and he sees his mother with a man on top of her.
Little Johnny runs to his room, jumps on his bed, pulls down his pants and starts playing with himself, saying, "I need a bike... I need a bike... "
A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender in the eye and says, "Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink?"
The bartender thinks for a moment and says, "Sure, the toilet's right around the corner."
