How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?
You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.
Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?
Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.
What'd the bi-polar write on the picture postcard?
"Having a wonderful time. Wish I were dead."
They finally came out new a new blonde paint.
It's not real bright, but it's cheap... and it spreads easy.
