How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?
You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
(uhhhh....Yeah, I have the same feeling you are having! :-O)
Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"
She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."
And that's when the fight started...
