How is sex like credit?
It's the people who need it most who can't get any.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves!
Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.
Put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together... what do you have?
100 people who don't do dick.
I was scewing my wife when suddenly I stopped and didn't move. She asked: "What are you doing?"
I told her: "I saw this online on a porn site. It's called buffering"
And that's when the fight started...
