How is sex like credit?
It's the people who need it most who can't get any.
Lying in bed watching TV with the wife I kept switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel.
So my wife grabbed the remote and barked: "For Christ's sake, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish."
And that's when the fight started...
Grandpa always told me don’t watch your money watch your health. So one day, while I'm watching my health, someone stole my money.
It was grandpa.
A chicken and and egg are lying in bed.
The chicken begins to light up a cigarette.
The egg says: "Well... I guess that answers that question."
