How is sex like credit?
It's the people who need it most who can't get any.
Two lawyers were leaving the office. "I can't wait to get home," says one. "As soon as I walk in the door I'm going to rip my wife's panties off."
"I know the feeling." his partner says.
"No, I'm serious," says the first guy. "They're killing me."
Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"
Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool."
