Every Frickin' Joke

Pillow Fight

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 08 September 2015; Hits: 2499

What does it mean when your wife is lying in bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Time For The Wife To Get A New Job

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 07 September 2015; Hits: 2344

What's the difference between your wife and your job?

After two years, the job still sucks.

Can't Teach An Old Dog New Tricks

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 06 September 2015; Hits: 2583

Two guys are having a couple of beers and talking about their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" asks the first one.

"Well, not exactly," replies his friend. "She just pretends to be a dog." "Very kinky." says the first guy.

"Well, not really... Whenever I lean over and whisper let's do it doggy style, she rolls over and plays dead."

This Will Drive A Woman Crazy

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 05 September 2015; Hits: 3099

What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives every woman wild?

A hundred dollar bill!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Really Paid Off!

A guy goes into a bank for a business loan.

The bank manager says, "What kind of business do you want to start?"

The guy says, "I have some black powder. You sprinkle it on pussy and it makes it taste like a peach."

The bank manager says, "I'm afraid we're not interested."

A few months later the guy walks into the bank pushing a wheel barrel full of money.

The bank manager says, "I see that idea for black powder really paid off."

The guy says, "Nah, that didn't go anywhere. I made my money with this white powder."

The bank manager says, "What does it do?"

The guy says, "Give me a peach and I'll show you."

Ask And You Shall Receive

Every day a homeless drunk watches a guy stop and whisper to every chick that walks by. Sometimes the girl walks away a little confused. Sometimes the girl smiles, grabs the guy by the arm and they walk off to the motel across the street.

One day the homeless guy walks over and asks: "Hey buddy, what are you sayin' to those girls to get all that action?" The guy tells him: "I take the simple, direct approach. I first whisper 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' If the girl smiles and says sure, I know I've scored. But if she's offended I quickly repeat 'Particularly nasty weather' like she didn't hear me right and then just move on. Works every time!"

The drunk thinks what a great idea and decides to try it himself. Waiting on the corner he stumbles over to the first girl that walks by and shouts at her: "Shove a feather up your ass?" The girl looks totally shocked. So heeding his lesson he quickly covers by saying: "It's fucking raining."

I'm Going To Disneyland!

A guy wanted to have sex with his wife. So he gave her a wink and popped a Viagra.

His wife looked at him and said: "You know why Viagra is just like Disneyland? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride!"

And that's when the fight started...