What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
One night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep my wife asked me a real stupid question: "Honey, why do you think god gave men a dick?"
I opened one eye and told her: "So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!"
And that;s when the fight started...
What's the difference between light and hard?
You can fall asleep with a light on.
