What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Why doesn't Chelsea have any brothers and sisters?
Monica swallowed them.
What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law, but a great lawyer knows the judge.
My wife wanted to be a little adventurous. She told me she was up for making a sex tape.
I said, "Great, we should hold auditions for your part."
And that's when the fight started...
