What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.
Question: Which is more vicious... Killer Bees or Asian Murder Hornets?
Answer: My ex-wife.
A father has three daughters who are all getting married on the same day.
He asks his oldest daughter, "Whom do you wish to marry?" She says, "Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest."
He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, "Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest."
He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, "I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!"
