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Merry Christmas!

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 25 December 2015
Hits: 2837

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter replied.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carol's".

Better Than A 5 Star Hotel!

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 24 December 2015
Hits: 3199

What is the smallest hotel in the world?

A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside.

Name Game

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 23 December 2015
Hits: 2837

What did the Jewish guy and his Chinese wife name their baby boy?

Ka Ching!

Weight Watchers

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 22 December 2015
Hits: 3253

My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

It Takes Two

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...

Turn The Beat Around

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” he asks. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we screw,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a blue “Y” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” he asks. “Oh, my boyfriend goes to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when he's banging me,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor. “No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”

Can't Live Without It

Sex is just like air...

It's no big deal until you're not getting any.

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