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Merry Christmas!

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 25 December 2015
Hits: 2882

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter replied.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carol's".

Better Than A 5 Star Hotel!

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 24 December 2015
Hits: 3246

What is the smallest hotel in the world?

A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside.

Name Game

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 23 December 2015
Hits: 2901

What did the Jewish guy and his Chinese wife name their baby boy?

Ka Ching!

Weight Watchers

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 22 December 2015
Hits: 3296

My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Remembering Our Vows

It was our anniversary and I asked my wife if she remembered out wedding vows when the minister said "for better or worse?"

She said: "Yeah... You couldn't do any better and I couldn't do any worse."

And that's when the fight started...

Night On The Town

What do all the female reindeer do when santa is busy working with the males on christmas eve?

Go into town and blow a couple of bucks!

My Drug Dealer Sells The Best "Crack"

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

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