A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Merry Christmas!

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2383

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter replied.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carol's".

Better Than A 5 Star Hotel!

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2707

What is the smallest hotel in the world?

A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside.

Name Game

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2405

What did the Jewish guy and his Chinese wife name their baby boy?

Ka Ching!

Weight Watchers

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2775

My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Who Failed This Test

A woman wanted to see how her husband would react if she left him unexpectedly. So she writes him a note saying she is tired of him and doesn't want to live with him anymore. After writing the note, she puts it on the night stand in the bedroom and then climbs under the bed to hide until her husband gets home.

When he gets home that night, he sees the note on the night stand. After a few moments of silence, he picks up the pen and adds something at the bottom. Then he starts to get changed, whistling and singing and dancing around the room. He grabs his phone and dials a number. His wife listens from under the bed as he starts chatting away. "Hey babe, I'm just changing clothes. I'll see you in a bit. As for the old bag, it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around and she split. Good riddance! I was wrong to have married her in the first place. I just wish you and me had met sooner. See you soon, honey!" Then he hangs up and walks out of the room.

In tears and very upset, the wife climbs out from under the bed and stumbles over to read what her unfaithful husband had written at the end of her note. Through teary eyes, she read: "I could see your feet you idiot! I am going out to pick up some beer."

Maybe He'll Propose?

I overheard my girlfriend on the phone say to her friend she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day.

Hope she finds someone nice.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Peace comes at a price. If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.