It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.
“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.
“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”
Little Johnny was in the kitchen playing with his toy train while his dad was cooking dinner. Johnny stops the train at the station and says, "All of you bastards who want to get off, you're here, so get the fuck off. And you dirt bags waiting to board, get your asses on now or we leave without you!"
"Little Johnny!" shouted his father. "I can't believe you are using that kind of language! You should be ashamed of yourself! Go to your room and don't come back until you have thought about what you've done!"
So Little Johnny goes to his room and about an hour later he returns. Once again he starts playing with his toy train, only this time when he comes to the stop at the station he says, "All of you fine ladies and gentlemen who want to get off, you've arrived at your destination, you may now exit the train. And all of you nice people who are are waiting to get on, welcome aboard! As for anyone who has a problem with the one hour delay, take it up with the asshole in the kitchen!"