Every Frickin' Joke

Going Downtown

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 17 December 2015; Hits: 2990

When do you know you've been married too long?

The only reason you go down on it is because it doesn't talk back.

Bachelor Lifestyle

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 16 December 2015; Hits: 2932

What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?

Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.

Whore Or A Bitch?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 15 December 2015; Hits: 3140

The difference between a whore & a bitch?

A whore fucks everyone at the party. The bitch? Everyone but you.

Those Red Heads

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 14 December 2015; Hits: 3224

Cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy what do you get?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

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And When You Die...

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

This Should Cure Him

A lady takes her husband to the doctor's office.

After his check-up, the doctor calls her into his office and says, "Your husband is suffering from a very serious disease, which, combined with stress, will kill him in a few months. What you have to do is, each morning, fix him a nice breakfast, and be pleasant. Make him a nice lunch to take to work, and for dinner, make meals for him you know he'll enjoy. Don't give him too much to do around the house, especially after he's had a hard day. And don't burden him with too many of your problems, because that'll only increase his stress. And most importantly, make love to him a couple of times a week, and try to give him oral sex once a month or so. If you can do this for the next ten months, I think your husband could regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband says, "What did the doctor say?"

She says, "He said you're gonna die."

Sign Of The Times

2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.