My Drug Dealer Sells The Best "Crack"

: Created: 13 August 2015; Hits: 2462

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

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Quick Thinking

Little Johnny's dad was sitting on the edge of the bed rolling on a condom about to give some to the old lady. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, "Whatcha doin' Daddy?" Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking around at the floor. "Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he tells the kid.

Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, fuck it?"

Not A Fair Trade

My wife saw a Craigslist ad where a guy was offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. She looked at me and asked: "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," I told her. "The season's more than half over!"

And that's when the fight started...

Always Know What To Say

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

"Honey, I'm home."