My Drug Dealer Sells The Best "Crack"

: Created: 13 August 2015; Hits: 2131

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Almost Crapped My Pants!

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work. Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"

One Thanksgiving morning, Martha's preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself. Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.

She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost.

He says, "You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again."

Who Was Your Kid Named After

We named our daughter after my wife's mother.

Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 next week.

In The Classroom

The teacher asked the class: "What's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde raised her hand and answered: "W"