My Drug Dealer Sells The Best "Crack"

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Why is being in the military like a blowjob?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Where's the bar tender?"

You ever been by a place and thought "Man, if I went in there, I know I'd get laid." I get that feeling all the time - I live near a prison.