My Drug Dealer Sells The Best "Crack"

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

A guy gets a prescription from his doctor for Viagra with the instruction to take it one hour before sex.

He gets home, checks his watch and looking for a little action he pops a pill an hour before his wife is due home from work.

But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she would be home late while she ran some errands.

In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will wear off by the time my wife gets home."

"I see," said the doctor. "It is a shame to waste it. Do you have a maid?" "Yes." "Well, you could occupy yourself with her instead?"

"But I don't need Viagra with the maid."

I've got a new hobby -- collecting empty bottles.

Sounds a lot better than "I'm an alcoholic."

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.