Weight Watchers

My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.

A guy says to his new girlfriend: "Why are you always playing with my balls?"

She says: "Because I miss mine."

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

Wife: "In the pool."

What's the difference between a girl who spits and a girl who swallows?

A wedding ring.