Every Frickin' Joke

What Are You Worried About?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 29 December 2015; Hits: 2855

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.

Some things last forever ... and some don't!

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 28 December 2015; Hits: 2660

What's the difference between love and herpes?

Love doesn't last forever.

Do You Swallow?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 27 December 2015; Hits: 3150

Why doesn't Chelsea have any brothers and sisters?

Monica swallowed them.

Make Sure It's Tight

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 26 December 2015; Hits: 2955

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A koala bear walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender points to a cute little trick at the end of the bar. So the koala bear walks up to her and in a few minutes they're heading to her place. When they get they're the koala bear immediately goes down on her. After a few minutes he jumps up and splits.

The next night, the woman spots the koala bear at the bar again and confronts him saying: "You owe me money!" "For what?" the koala asks. The woman rolls her eyes and tells him, "I'm a prostitute." The koala bear pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The koala says, "I don't owe you a thing. I'm a koala bear. Look it up." Before she can protest the koala hands her the dictionary.

The woman looks up "koala bear" and reads, "Koala bear: Eats bush and leaves.”

English Class Assignment

The teacher asked the class to use the word indefinitely in a sentence?

Little Johnny raised his hand and said: "When your balls are slapping on the cheeks of her ass, you're in definitely."

The Danger of Leaving Town

Guy tells his brother, "I have to go to out of town for a couple of weeks. I need to leave my cat with you. Please take real good care of her." His brother says, "Relax. I got this."

A few days later, he calls his brother and asks, "So, how's my cat?" His brother tells him, "The cat's dead."

"Geeeez" says the guy, "Why'd you have to be so blunt? Couldn't you have broken it to me a little more gently? Like, you could have told me the cat was on the roof, and you had to call the Fire Department. But just before they got there, she slipped and fell to the ground. So you scooped her up and rushed her to the vet. But there was nothing he could do to save her. Something like that would have been much more sensitive." His brother says, "Whatever."

So then the guy asks, "How's Mom?"

His brother thinks for a moment then says, "Uh... Mom's on the roof ..."