What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A pussy, cause you have to leave the bags outside.
I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
I said: "Yeah, but I do."
And that's when the fight started...
Old Dick is no dope. Here's a piece of advice you should always follow: Whenever you have a one night stand, always use protection -- a fake name and a fake number.
What do you call a black man who flies a plane?
A pilot you racist bastard.
