What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?"
She says, "What's that?"
He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
Honeymoon morning after. Wife: "You're a lousy lover."
Husband: "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?"
