What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.
What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?
Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.
Why doesn't Santa have any children?
Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
Guy walks into a bar with a big bruise in the middle of his forehead. The bartender asks: "What happened?"
The guy tells him: "I was fucking my wife doggy style and she ran under the house."
