What's the difference between love and herpes?
Love doesn't last forever.
A drunk calls the police, and says, "They stole my dashboard, they stole my steering wheel, they stole my brake pedal, they even stole my gas pedal..."
Then, before the cops can ask where he is, he says, "Hey, never mind, I'm in the back seat."
What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend?
45 minutes.
When's the best time to put out the cat?
When it's on fire.
