How are nail polish and panties the same?
They both come off with a little alcohol.
Women are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell her.
A new bride was embarrassed to be on her honeymoon. When she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear as if they had been married a long time.
He responded, "Sure. You carry the luggage!"
And that's when the fight started...
