Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?
He said he could stop anytime.
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?
So she won't shit on the street during the parade.
My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
