Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?
He said he could stop anytime.
Hallmark Card fail:
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."
A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him: "Anything you say can and will be held against you."
So he shouts back: "Tits"
What is the definition of confidence?
When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You're next Baby... !"
