Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?
He said he could stop anytime.
What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A lesbian with a hard-on.
A priest is walking down the street and passes by a prostitute who yells out, "$20 for a handjob!"
He keeps walking but later he asks a nun, "What's a handjob?"
She replies, "20 bucks... same as in town."