What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
A midget whips out his two-foot dick.
The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."
"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!
Sex is like a bank account.
First you put it in. Once you take it out you lose interest.
