Every Frickin' Joke
Next Stop Willoughby
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 2614
Little Johnny was in the kitchen playing with his toy train while his dad was cooking dinner. Johnny stops the train at the station and says, "All of you bastards who want to get off, you're here, so get the fuck off. And you dirt bags waiting to board, get your asses on now or we leave without you!"
"Little Johnny!" shouted his father. "I can't believe you are using that kind of language! You should be ashamed of yourself! Go to your room and don't come back until you have thought about what you've done!"
So Little Johnny goes to his room and about an hour later he returns. Once again he starts playing with his toy train, only this time when he comes to the stop at the station he says, "All of you fine ladies and gentlemen who want to get off, you've arrived at your destination, you may now exit the train. And all of you nice people who are are waiting to get on, welcome aboard! As for anyone who has a problem with the one hour delay, take it up with the asshole in the kitchen!"
Question For Bird Watchers
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 1986
Why are crows so damn noisy when they fuck?
Caws!
On One Condition
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2237
A match asks if he can get into a dance club. The Bouncer says: "You can go in. Just don't start anything."
Shocked For The Wrong Reason
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 1965
Preparing the body of old man Johnson, a mortician finds the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry" he says out loud, "But I can't send you off to be cremated and lose forever such a rare and enormous dick like yours. It has to be preserved for posterity."
So the mortician carefully removes the giant organ, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he's excited to show the rare sight to his wife. "Look here honey, I have something to show you that will shock you." he tells her as he removes the jar from his briefcase.
"Oh my God!" the wife screams, "Johnson's dead!"
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