A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

No Tricks Here

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2626

What's a sure-fire way to give a woman an orgasm?

Who cares?

Same Facts, Different Conclusion

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 3205

Guy to his friend: "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes & no clothes to wear."

Friend tells him: "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."

Facts Of Life

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 3084

Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"

A Duck Walks Into A Bar... Here We Go Again!

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2956

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says no, this is a bar not a grocery store." and sends him out.

The next day, the duck returns and again asks, "Got any grapes?" This time the bartender gets real mad and says. "I told you yesterday no grapes. And you're a duck. We don't even serve ducks here. You come in here and bother me one more time and I'll nail your fuckin' web feet to the floor." And with that he throws him out again.

The next day, the duck returns only this time he asks "Got any nails?" Confused, the bartender says "No."

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Danger of Leaving Town

Guy tells his brother, "I have to go to out of town for a couple of weeks. I need to leave my cat with you. Please take real good care of her." His brother says, "Relax. I got this."

A few days later, he calls his brother and asks, "So, how's my cat?" His brother tells him, "The cat's dead."

"Geeeez" says the guy, "Why'd you have to be so blunt? Couldn't you have broken it to me a little more gently? Like, you could have told me the cat was on the roof, and you had to call the Fire Department.  But just before they got there, she slipped and fell to the ground. So you scooped her up and rushed her to the vet. But there was nothing he could do to save her. Something like that would have been much more sensitive." His brother says, "Whatever."

So then the guy asks, "How's Mom?"

His brother thinks for a moment then says, "Uh... Mom's on the roof ..."

Give Me One In A Bun

How can you tell if you're at a gay barbecue?

The hot dogs taste like shit.

All Present And Accounted For

A manager hired a new secretary who was young, sweet and proper. One day while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. As she left the room, she politely remarked, “Sir, did you know your barracks door is open?”

At first the boss didn't understand what she meant. But later he looked down and saw his open zipper. That's when he decided to have a little fun with his new hire. Calling her back in, he asked, “By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you notice a soldier standing at attention?”

To which his secretary very smartly replied, “Why, no sir. All I saw was a disabled veteran, sitting on two duffel bags!”