On One Condition

A match asks if he can get into a dance club. The Bouncer says: "You can go in. Just don't start anything."

You know what happens when you stop believing in Santa Claus?

You start getting clothes for Christmas.

Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"

A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."

Did you hear about the Jewish mother doll?

You pull the string and it says, "Again with the string..."