What do women and milk cartons have in common?
You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.
"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"
"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."
I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.
The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!
A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"
The guy says, "75 cents."
