Every Frickin' Joke

Things Have Gone Too Far

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 17 May 2016; Hits: 3521

What is more messed up than fingering your sister?

Pulling your finger out and finding your dad's wedding ring.

Liqour In The Front

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 16 May 2016; Hits: 3120

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

A liqour cabinet.

The Harder They Suck...

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 15 May 2016; Hits: 3096

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.

Do You Not Have Any Shame?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 14 May 2016; Hits: 3285

So I went to the doctor for a physical and he told me I should stop jerking off. I asked him why should I stop?

He told me: "Because you're at a physical."

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In The Blink Of An Eye

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

Pay Back Is A Bitch

I was furious when I found our joint checking account was empty. When I confronted my wife all she said was, "It's my turn." "What do you mean, your turn?" I shot back.

"In bed," she told me, "you've been making early withdrawals for years. Now... it's my turn."

And that's when the fight started...

Pray For Me

Willie goes to a revival meeting for some much needed prayer. The preacher says, "Whoever needs to be healed-UH... come for-ward-UH... come to the al-tar-UH... ask for the heal-ing-UH..." Willie gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher says, "All right my son, what do you need me to pray for?" Willie says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one hand over Willie's ear, puts the other hand on top of Willie's head, and prays and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the preacher takes his hands away, stands back, and says, "Son, how is your hearing now?"

Willie says, "I don't know preacher. My hearing ain't 'til next Wednesday."